Being in an intimate relationship can sometimes be troublesome and can bring up to the surface our most deep vulnerabilities. While this can be very painful, it can also give us a unique opportunity to look at what needs to be healed. While experiencing conflict in relationship, a heart-centered approach in Psychotherapy can be the key to bring compassion and the right loving care that is needed when difficult emotions are triggered. Bringing awareness and understanding of what could unconsciously be inherited and learned from our families of origin can be an important key for growth in partnership.
Through a psychotherapeutic process, you can transform old negative and traumatic patterns that may emerge at different moments in your life when you are in relationship with another. A new way of relating that frees you up from old past traumas and does not stop you from experiencing a bigger fulfillment with your partner can be appropriately attained.
The following are some common themes that I look at when working with couples:
transforming challenging situations or conflict into new opportunities for self-growth.
negotiating and mediating differences in personality and backgrounds.
making clear boundaries while strengthening points in common.
resolving issues around sex and sexuality that help you to create a mutual and satisfying intimate life.
building trust and creating ways to stay together when there has been betrayal or infidelity.
transforming negative emotions like blame, shame, and guilt into mutual inter-connection and empathy.
healing wounds of past sexual abuse that interferes with connecting and enjoying pleasure.
normalizing different types of relationships and non-traditional marriages, bondages and lifestyles.
Primarily, I have been trained in utilizing Attachment and a Somatic based models that are also evidenced by Neuroscience research. These models help to comprehend what happens with our brain and body chemistry when we have particular thoughts, emotions and behaviors, and what gets activated when we are in relationship with a meaningful other.
Neuro-biologically speaking, in order to feel safe and explore past and present challenging relational patterns that may block the possibilities to relate fully, we all need enough of the "good" neurotransmitters in our brains to support us in being present with another.
In this regard, the neurotransmitter "Dopamine" can be induced through felt experiences of love towards another. For obtaining an optimal good amount of the good neurotransmitters present in our brains, we also need a good supply of "Acetylcholine" that helps to consolidate changes in the brain from old structures to achieving new neuro-pathways that will allow us to relate in a more flexible, joyful, and loving way.
In my work with couples, I also use an Emotional Focused Therapy model. Strategies from Emotionally Focused Therapy can be also utilized in Couples Therapy to help each partner feel connected to others and improve emotional attachment.
In order to maximize the potential of their chemistry, I help couples to:
Create new relational patterns and new felt sense experiences in the body that transcend old memory patterns while in the therapy room with the partner.
Using body mindful awareness to know oneself and the other in the relationship.
Being able to bring forth new resources and actualize old ones to better listen to one another and relate more consciously and more effectively.
Noticing the way that one may be unconsciously blocking his/her own capacities to give, receive, and feel loved.
Learn to notice, track and de-escalate states where one feels "triggered" or knowing when one finds his/herself in a trauma state while relating with the partner.
Allowing space to be playful with one another and learning to shift to non-harmful and neutral states.
Making good use of the 'common sense' and of the 'sense of humor.'
Finding places where you feel safe in your emotional body to be able to move and expand from negative states to higher positive states and achieve more joy and pleasure.
As a Depth Psychotherapist, I assist couples deepening in their life purpose together and facilitate spiritual inquiry that leads to achieve and work towards common goals, allowing this process to be guided also by your insights, your dreams, and synchronicities. As a natural mediator, I see our work together as a collaborative process. In this regard, I feel very confident and comfortable working with different types of relationships, including LGBTQ, monogamy, polyamory, queer, and open relationships. I always hold an authentic and curious stance about what best works for you and support your unique way of learning and growing!